I would like to thank Nikki for guest blogging. I would also like to thank her for reiterating to the world how thoroughly destroyed I was by my break-up. Okay, okay. I’m exaggerating. I was not destroyed. I was thoroughly beat up, maybe, but not destroyed. Anyway she will be back in the future to help you Feng Shui your life.
So she mentioned me in her sports blog and she referred to mine as “a younger Sex and the City, but takes place in New York, Dallas and Los Angeles, with too many pet dogs, no designer shoes and not enough sleeping around.” I wish my life were like Sex and the City, but unfortunately, it’s not. It’s more like No Sex in this City. Not even a slap and a tickle. Oh well. It’s okay. At least I get to live vicariously through my friend. You know who I’m talking about. Cringe.
I had a wonderful weekend. I didn’t do a flippin’ thing besides laundry. I slept in and lounged around for three days. It was nice. Except it was dang hot! I absolutely dreaded taking the kids outside for their potty breaks. Hana just putt putts all damn day and doesn’t do her business. Aside from beating the shit out of her, there’s nothing I can do to make her go in a timely manner. The more she gets distracted by everything she comes across, the more agitated I get. I’m soaking wet from sweating so much and she’s just happy as can be, trotting around on the grass. There were moments when I was tempted to let go of her leash and head on back inside.
Of course Jackson is no help. Thankfully he does his business fast. Unfortunately, as I’ve mentioned before, he refuses to walk after he’s done. Since she has to pace for flippin’ ever before she can poop, we have to do a lot of walking. Jack doesn’t like to walk all that much. He would much rather sit in the shade and let what breeze there is, blow through his hair. More often than not I have to take Jack back inside so I can walk Hana by herself. Of course Jack’s smart and will refuse to go back into the apartment first. Everyone has to walk inside first and then after much coaxing, he’ll follow. Then I have to quickly lead Hana back outside, before Jack realizes and runs out the door. The whole process is a pain in the ass. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so damn hot.
I wish they’d let me be the pack leader just once. Just one time. That’s all I’m asking.
